Mary-Kate and Ashley Ruined My Life (WIP)

Growing up, I worshipped the trailblazing Olsen twins, determined to become 90s royalty. Instead, I ended up a non-twin millennial: not white, not American... still not a twin. Raised on promises of 'can't-eat, can't-sleep, reach-for-the-stars, World Series kind of stuff,' I've lived a life less Mary-Kate and Ashley, more misadventures and absurdity. My only claim to fame is a split second in a shampoo ad... so what have I been doing? As a chaos magnet and psychiatrist, I try to work out what to do after diagnosing my childhood blueprint as a lie.